Make Him Commit Strategically: The No Pressure Approach That Worked For Me And My Girlfriends

Committed couple
Committed couple

Do you frequently feel as though your man is dragging you along?

Does he consistently fail to demonstrate his willingness to commit to you, leaving you feeling uneasy and fearful that he might go at any time?

Maybe you’re concerned about squandering your prime years on a man who doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life with you?

If so, you’ve come to the perfect spot since the list of STRATEGIC actions that you may take will commit a man to propose to you.

However, before I reveal them, you should carefully read the following sentences.

There is a little-known but very important aspect of male psychology that you need to be aware of.

A deep understanding of this psychological trigger can make all the difference to a man’s view of you. 

This is known as the “Hero Instinct”. Until I learned this, I consistently struggled to hold a man’s interest. 

When I finally understood it, my relationships became 10x more loving, passionate, and secure (learn more here).

Using this trigger is so easy that you will kick yourself for not finding it sooner. 

If you’re hoping that a man will say he loves you, learn how to trigger this part of his psychology. 

When you’ve finished, read down below some key suggestions for getting a man to commit to you.

If you’re curious about the art of attracting the right man into your life, be sure to also check out the article we dedicated to how to get a man to chase you.

My Experience In Persuading My Man To Commit

I am aware of how difficult it may be when you are ready to go forward in your relationship and are trying to figure out how to commit your boyfriend to do so but he keeps postponing things or making up excuses. It’s only fair that I divulge all of my secrets on how to make a man commit because I’ve done it myself and succeeded in getting my man to commit, so you can find your own prince charming.

One of the most crucial things is to not put the responsibility on yourself; he can have commitment concerns that he finds it awkward to discuss.

Let’s go over a few things you must not do to convince your partner to commit before we get to the heart of the matter.

  • Don’t put strain on the relationship where it isn’t necessary; you won’t benefit from it. Ensure that you lead a separate life, and more importantly, permit him to lead a separate one as well.
  • Being in a relationship does not require you to be together all the time. Men often prefer women who respect their personal space because they believe you share their values of freedom and love.
  • Some things that should be avoided include lying, putting pressure on others, manipulating them, and issuing ultimatums. things should be avoided because they could have the opposite effect and drive your man away.

The frequency with which I read about women offering their partners ultimatums astounds me; if you truly loved someone, you wouldn’t treat them in this way. Instead of shoving someone down the aisle, you should investigate the root of the issue.

Men who are hesitant to get married dislike being pushed into marriage. Don’t give them the impression that because they are committing, they must give up their favorite activities, such as playing poker, watching sports, or hanging out with pals. They can still take use of all of these things, just like you can.

What Justifies the Value of Commitment?

Now that the elephant in the room has been addressed, I want to discuss why commitment is crucial in a relationship before walking you through the stages on how to make your boyfriend commit.

  • You will both feel comfortable and secure knowing you have someone to rely on
  • You will be able to see where the relationship is going.
  • True closeness only comes with commitment.
  • You will cherish the time you spend together doing the things that bring you both delight.
  • Your relationship will become closer as a result of your commitment to one another.

Give Him The Hunting

Instead of you hunting him, let him hunt you. Reduce the frequency of your texts and dates with him. Attempt not to be so accessible. By being difficult to get, he will be left in charge of the hunt and will unknowingly commit more quickly.

For many years, we ladies have kept this a secret, and it has never let us down. I can attest that it has never let me down. However, it is more tougher than it seems since, if you love him, you will undoubtedly want to spend every waking moment with him, and it might be challenging to fight against that desire.

It does not follow that you can increase your Facebook or Instagram activity just because you are sending fewer texts and going on fewer dates.

As much as you can, keep your relationship off of social media. When he does call, text, or snap chat you, ignore it for a few hours before responding. Do this only if he messages you initially after a few hours, not every time. He will put forth more effort to win your love if he believes he is losing you.

Also, make sure you learn about the hero instinct 12-word text and its surprising impact in awakening a man’s primal desire.

Don’t Be A Book To Everyone

To keep him intrigued, maintain a sense of mystery around you. Even if you’ve been dating for weeks, months, or even years, you may stay enigmatic by discovering new interests on your own. He will want to learn everything there is to know about you because he won’t be able to read you like an open book.

Is it a struggle to convince him to spend time with you?

Understanding males on a much deeper emotional level is the key to finding a solution. With a few subtle comments you might make to him, you can actually modify the main reason why men react in this way.

Learn how to become his top priority in this free video by Relationship Psychologist James Bauer.

With time, this desire will develop into love, and he’ll start to value every aspect of your individuality. However, if you’re not sure whether he truly loves you, look for these indicators. You can maintain an air of mystery in addition to taking up new interests and pursuits by withholding certain information about your life.

For instance, keep some details about your night out with the girls to yourself, such as where you went and what you drank. There is a very tight line to walk here; you don’t want it to backfire and start an unneeded quarrel. This might be a difficult one to handle though because you don’t want to be too secretive and give him the impression that you have cheated on him.

You may also like: 7 Tips to Get Him to Commit Through Reverse Psychology (Step by Step guide)

Have a life of your own

He will realize that he can do the same if you are having fun both in your personal life and while you are with him. Maintain relationships with your pals and continue your activities or start new ones. Many times, I have observed women in relationships lose contact with their friends.

You will be having fun even if you just get together with your pals once a month for lunch or dinner and only attend dancing or fitness classes on the weekends. You still have the other 6 days, so if your partner wants to go out with pals once a week, let him.

It’s crucial that you both find different interests enjoyable so you can have a healthy relationship and constantly have topics of conversation. Studies have been done to support the idea that having hobbies helps relationships by reducing stress. Less stress is definitely more fun because stress may strain relationships.

You may like: The 9 Little-Known Texts to Get Him Chasing You (How & When to Use Them)

Use reversible psychology

Don’t let him think that women only want to be in committed relationships and get married as their ultimate objective. You must convey to him your unwillingness to commit while avoiding giving him the impression that you don’t want to be with him.

He will feel more at ease and enjoy his time with you without anxiety the more he understands that you aren’t big on commitment. This will inevitably cause him to want to commit without his being aware of how far he has come—it will just happen.

Playing games won’t help; to make this work, just forget about it. Whether it takes a few weeks or a few months, you’ll notice a difference. Every person and every relationship are unique, so sometimes the best course of action is to forego pressuring him to commit a commitment and wait for it to come naturally. I am certain that the technique will be successful.

Don’t worship him

Don’t worship him or treat him like a god who has power over you. If he buys you gifts, gratefully accept them, but don’t give him the impression that he can dominate you with these items or anything else. Your life is only really in your hands, and that is you. You may achieve this by just exuding assurance.

You are not his mother; if he wants to go out with his pals or for a poker night, let him. Show him that you don’t mind if he goes out with pals by promising a cozy night in with a movie and some alone time. He is not the center of your universe, and you must demonstrate to him that you are a capable, intelligent, and powerful woman. In any case, how would you feel if someone forbade you from engaging in your favorite activities? Don’t stop him because I’m going to assume that it is false.

You may also like: 12 Solid Reasons You Should Never Chase a Man (With Real-Life Examples)

Don’t try to get him closer by using sex

Using sex as a means of bringing him closer to you is one of the worst things you can do because it won’t work. Although being physically intimate is crucial in relationships, it is not everything. Healthy relationships also require an emotional connection that can be established through communication, trust, enjoyment, and other factors.

You can’t get your man to commit only by having sex with you. This also applies the other way around; you cannot use sex as a weapon and threaten to withhold it from your man until he makes a commitment; this is ineffective. Building an emotional connection with him through enjoyable non-sexual activities is crucial in this situation. This might be going out to eat, exercising together, or traveling.

Stay attractive

Although I almost want to scoff at this, there is nothing wrong with wanting both you and your partner to look good—this goes for both of you. I’ve been there myself, when I complained to my partner for not trimming his unattractive beard despite the fact that I hadn’t shaven my legs in almost a week and had armpit shadow.

I quickly realized my hypocritical behavior, and I made an effort to improve my appearance. I felt much more confident as a result. However, being attractive is more than simply how you appear on the exterior; it also refers to certain emotional qualities. Men find independence and self-assurance in women attractive; jealousy and reliance do not.

If you allow others to treat you poorly, they will

Don’t let your man walk all over you because if he can, he’ll probably do it if you tell him you don’t like it when he does something that makes you angry. I’m not referring to his ridiculous habits, such as picking his nose, or his eating habits. I’m referring about actions that really irritate you, such as going to meet an ex-girlfriend who has just come in town for a brief visit or embarking on two-day drinking binges without permission.

You cannot simply smirk at him and assure him that you are aware of his situation. Tell him how much you were wounded by his actions, and if he cares, he will pay attention and promise never to do it again.

You want a genuine relationship; you don’t want him.

The number of women who feel they have the wrong priorities surprised me. Do you want to be with your man or are you more interested in being in a committed relationship? What may have begun as a desire for your boyfriend may have evolved over the course of a few weeks or months into a desire for a committed relationship.

Don’t let this focus overshadow your man, who should be your top priority. He will believe that you want a serious relationship status more and more as it dominates your thoughts and life rather than him. Make sure he understands that you want him more than a committed relationship because men have sentiments that might hurt as well.

Talk to him without putting any pressure on him.

Being honest and asking your man how he feels about commitment can sometimes be the easiest thing to do. Inform him that you are only interested in his opinion and not asking him to marry you. Make it less of a serious “let’s sit down” chat and more of a casual off-the-cuff exchange.

If you disagree with some of his arguments, don’t get upset, confrontational, or defensive; instead, let him feel free to express his true feelings to you. Don’t ask him to commit a commitment to end the conversation; just leave it at that. He will feel more at ease speaking candidly with you and appreciate your respect for his viewpoints.

You may also like: His Secret Obsession: Does It Work? An Honest Review Before You Buy It

Be A Woman Of Meaning

It can take time and effort to get your boyfriend to commit. You want to let him know that you are ready to advance the relationship, but you also don’t want to go overboard to the point where it becomes obsessional or stressful. Avoid letting your relationship become routine; instead, keep it lively and exciting by doing new things as a couple, going out on the town, or in the bedroom.

Allowing him to miss you occasionally will keep him from getting bored, which is another benefit of doing things without him. By being good at things like baking, DIY, having a successful career, and other things, you can demonstrate your value to the relationship.

Physical and emotional reconnection

Your partner will get intrigued and want to learn everything there is to know about you if you maintain an aura of mystery about you. Giving him a list of rules might be embarrassing, so instead, let him know how you want to be treated. Remember that pleasing him is a two-way street, so do your best to discover everything there is to know about him.

What does he like to do? Would he prefer you to occasionally take him out on a date? He enjoys what in bed. Learn these things so you may relate to him more viscerally and emotionally.

Tell him you’re an independent person

Don’t abandon all else to be with your man. Don’t stop seeing your friends, give up past interests, or quit going to the gym. All of these things are still possible when in a committed relationship.

Showing your partner that you like both time spent with him and time spent alone can help him understand that you don’t really need him to have fun or to take care of you; you can do all of these things on your own, but you also happen to love his company.

If you rely on your partner too much, he can realize that you are more of a burden than a delight to be around. Everyone avoids being a burden. Your partner is more likely to feel at ease and develop a stronger connection with you if you are not stressing him out.

Allow Him To Trust In You

Whatever you do, resist the want to ignore your man or to become hostile if he expresses a viewpoint that differs from your own. You and your partner should accept each other’s choices and ideas if you are in a relationship. When you weep, become emotional, or become defensive and furious when you or he brings up the subject, how can you possibly expect your boyfriend to talk to you about his commitment issues?

Make him feel as though he can confide in you by simply listening to him and offering assurances, no matter what he wants to talk about. When he asks for it, you can offer counsel, but don’t rush in when he starts to open up to you.

Affirm His Specialness

Making a woman feel special is not solely a man’s responsibility; women also have a responsibility to make men feel special. Express your gratitude for the things he accomplishes, such as his DIY projects, when he makes dinner or gets a job advancement. You can occasionally treat him to a meal out, a football game, or even something as simple as a neck massage after a long, arduous day at work.

Simple actions like paying attention to what he has to say and refraining from asking too many questions are other methods to make him feel important. For instance, refrain from asking “how much” when he tells you at home that he just received a sizable bonus at work. Hug him tightly, congratulate him, and express your joy at the news.

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Being yourself

The most effective technique to get a man to commit is to just be you. Since you cannot maintain trying to be someone you are not for the rest of your life, it is better to be who you are now rather than later.

For instance, just though your partner enjoys playing poker and watching football does not obligate you to do the same. You can show interest in it if you want to, but don’t pretend to like it if you don’t. Just be who you are; if watching a movie makes you cry, cry; if singing in the shower makes you sing; if you adore ballet, tell him.

Because maintaining a façade won’t work in the long run and will only lead to tears, you want him to commit to you and not to the person he believes you are.

He can remain free.

You want to demonstrate to your man that he can maintain his independence while remaining in a committed relationship. Freedom simply means that he can continue to enjoy going out with friends and doing the things he enjoys doing. It does not, however, imply that he can meet other women. Women frequently assume that romances result in major life changes like home purchases and family formation.

Men, on the other hand, like to maintain their habits and make as little changes as possible. Because of this, you need to reassure him that being in a committed relationship won’t cause his world to fall apart and that he can continue to hang out with his buddies and participate in his poker sessions.

Men don’t want to be the friend whose “Mrs” won’t let him out” and who is “under the thumb” in the circle of friends. He values masculinity, therefore avoid placing him in that circumstance.

Keep Him from doing too much for you.

Even while you appreciate the presents and housework your partner does for you, you don’t want him to take on too much work that it strain him and cause him to flee. Do it yourself the next time a shelf collapses or a light bulb goes out, even if he swears he will.

Demonstrate to him your ability to handle things. When you go out to eat, insist on paying occasionally rather than letting him always pick up the check. You can relieve the load without endangering his manhood by occasionally picking up the check. His masculinity might not want to recognize a financial weight.

The next time he suggests eating out, insist on cooking him a delicious romantic supper at home if you can’t afford to do this. Whether a man is wealthy, indigent, or somewhere in between, they can all experience this feeling of burden because they believe that the things women do for them are not appreciated.

Avoid making him jealous.

Women who use envy are one of the worst methods I see for getting a man to commit. This will only result in a lot of crying, disagreements, and your partner leaving. Men appreciate entirely devoted partners, so avoid flirting with friends or strangers, keep your ex-lovers to yourself unless he specifically asks you to, and avoid being overly enigmatic to the point that he suspects an affair.

Your partner won’t feel secure if you confess to him that you once loved another man and left him—quite the contrary, in fact. He might believe that you will abandon him one day as well, which would cause him to cease or greatly delay his commitment to you until this belief was dispelled. Tell him that you only have him as the man of your dreams and in your life.

Make him aware of his need for you

You must convince a man that he needs you just as much as you need him in your life if you want him to commit. It is obvious that you cannot just declare, “You need me,” and attempt to convince him of this. He needs to come to that realization on his own, perhaps with some assistance. Simply telling him you love him on a daily basis is the greatest approach to accomplish this.

The more often your guy confesses his feelings for you, the more likely he is to accept it and acknowledge your significance in his life. After you have asked him if he loves you, if he initially declines to speak those three words and instead complements you or says something like “isn’t it apparent,” inform him that it would mean more if he said those three words.

He will soon understand he needs you in his life once he has uttered them and is at ease with them.

Discover The Family

This should happen a few months into the relationship and is one of the first steps in commitment. If it doesn’t, politely inquire if you can meet his family. To avoid adding pressure, you can bring it up naturally during a conversation while he is already discussing them. Just accept it if he claims he will take you to meet them soon; don’t press for a specific time or date.

However, if this continues to be the response after a few inquiries (in casual chat), you might want to start asking more pointed questions and engaging in more candid discourse. Inability to integrate you into his life may indicate that this relationship won’t end in marriage if he says he doesn’t want to introduce you to his family.

Give only what you need.

It’s crucial to remember that in a relationship, you shouldn’t give more than you desire. Tell him that cannot go on and that he is welcome to invite people over, but he must start cleaning up the mess himself. As an illustration, if he frequently has his friends over and leaves you to clean up the next day.
Your man does not want to see you sad or undervalued, but occasionally they are unaware of what they are doing, so they won’t know unless you let them know. This doesn’t allow you to nag about everything, just the things that irritate you and make you feel like it’s too much, though.

Be the greatest champion he has ever known

Be his #1 fan, in other words. Celebrate his accomplishments, have faith in his aspirations, and genuinely listen to what he has to say. Additionally, this will encourage him to talk to you more and want to share more details about his day. He will likely keep everything to himself if you reject everything he says, which will force you to ask other people for information about his life.

You can start the conversation by asking your partner about his goals and aspirations if he hasn’t already done so. As you listen, have an open mind. However, if you vehemently disagree with any of the things he says, you may want to think about whether or not you’re ready to commit to him. Always be yourself; you can’t pretend to support something you’re opposed for the rest of your life.

Asking about his interests and considering the possibility of joining him one day might help you show genuine interest in his goals and dreams as well as his aspirations. This will be a fantastic opportunity for him to demonstrate his abilities, like at the driving range, and will highlight his masculinity by allowing him to instruct you in how to do it as well.

If you encourage your man in whatever he does, he will come to understand that you two share a really unique relationship.

Highlight His Masculinity

I’ve talked a lot about being an independent woman who is self-assured and capable, but occasionally it’s okay to display a little weakness so your spouse can demonstrate his masculinity. Your male occasionally wants to be wanted as a MAN, and it is not only something that should be dismissed as being ridiculous; it is actually ingrained in their genetic makeup.

You realize you can directly affect his testosterone levels, right? Making him feel adored, respected, and manly will increase his testosterone levels, which will also increase his sex-drive. His testosterone levels and sex-drive will decline by making him feel weak and small. Making him feel loved, respected, and needed will help you become the fuel for his testosterone.

You can achieve this by telling the spider you are afraid of him or by clutching his bicep and expressing how safe you feel around him. Men were made to be the protectors, so let him do it occasionally.

Invest in Date Nights

I have briefly touched on this subject before, but I believe it is significant and deserving of its own spot on the list. Women in the twenty-first century no longer take it for granted that all men will pay for all of our dates. By offering to pay the next time you go out to lunch, you can pamper him as well.

He’ll probably try to decline, but insist and explain that you want to thank him for all that he does for you. Even though he may downplay the gesture, he will be grateful that you notice the little things he does for you.

He might still demand payment, but he will appreciate your sincere gesture much more. If he lives alone and is accustomed to ordering takeout, you might also express your gratitude by offering to prepare him a delicious supper.

Be Pleasant To His Friends

The ability to get along with his friends is among the most crucial aspects of a relationship. His friends will be less likely to say things like, “So she’s let you out tonight,” which will actually ease the burden on your relationship, if you get along with them and they don’t think of you as a nagging woman.

It is common for guys to want to spend time with their friends to discuss sports and other hobbies, and it is beneficial for him to have a hobby or other outlet—just as it is for you. Never try to prevent him from visiting his buddies. If your man’s buddies compliment you on how “cool” you are, he will be really happy. By letting him hang out with his friends, genuinely showing interest in their interests and personal lives, and sharing a laugh with them, you can establish yourself as the “cool” girlfriend.

If you truly dislike one or more of his friends, try not to let it come between you and your partner by criticizing them to him and refraining from creating a scene when you are out with them. If you get along with his friends and family, it will be much simpler for your man to envision a future with you.

Rock His Planet

Any man, including yours, wants to be with someone who inspires them and blows their minds. I’m going to assume that you want to be with someone who rocks your world, therefore it’s not a huge leap to think that your partner feels the same way. A decision to commit should be driven by love rather than reasoning or peer pressure.

Don’t commit a commitment request because you “want” your man to. Simply upsetting his environment will commit him see the benefits of committing. How can you achieve that? Start by making him laugh, keep things lighthearted, rock his world in bed, and cherish your time together.

Put Him to Work

Keep in mind that he must earn your loyalty just as much as you must gain his. This doesn’t mean that you have to subject him to some sort of Hunger Games process where he has to complete a list of tasks in order to win your devotion, even though that sounds like a lot of fun. Instead, it means that he must demonstrate his love for you by doing things like listening to you, supporting you, and making you feel special.

Men will appreciate hearing that you aren’t so easily won over either, as they prefer a challenge to having a woman handed to them with a red ribbon and all.

You’ve found your prince charming now…

Now that you know how to get your man to commit, hopefully you have some ideas. What are you waiting for, then? Go achieve it!

See if any of these suggestions can make your long-term partner into your fiancé or the frat boy who claimed to detest labels into your boyfriend. However, I would remember that you are sincere and have the right priorities.

He won’t be able to resist your charm with all of these tricks, and you’ll end up with your prince charming.

FAQs

How Can I Get Him to Commit Quickly and Easily?

You cannot compel a man to commit to you if he is not ready to do so. However, there are a few things you can do to increase the likelihood that he will choose you sooner. Create a wonderful relationship with him and always have fun. Avoid pressure and avoid talking about relationships or commitments too much. Also, make time for yourself so that you can be your best self around him.

How Much Time Does A Guy Need to Commit?

How long it takes for a guy to commit is an elusive question. Whether a guy commits to someone quickly and readily or takes a long time to do so depends on him personally. This guy won’t commit to you anytime soon if he is emotionally unavailable since he probably fears the burden of a committed relationship.

How Do You Convince A Guy Who Isn’t Interested In A Relationship To Commit?

There is really no way to convince a guy to commit if he is entirely against the concept of a relationship. You have to determine if you want to spend time with this man if there’s a potential he won’t ever really commit to you. Some males simply don’t find the concept of a partnership appealing.

How Can I commit His Commitment Over a Distance?

Without their consent, there is no way to persuade someone to commit to you. Spending quality time together will be more crucial if you and your partner are in a long-distance relationship. Even if you live far apart, it’s crucial to share experiences and create memories while you’re apart.

How Can I Make Him Worry That He Might Lose Me?

You shouldn’t have to worry about making your guy afraid of losing you. He should desire to make you happy regardless if you are in a committed relationship. It is crucial that you communicate to him about any problems you feel your relationship is having if you want to prevent them from getting worse.

You think about him all the time, but he thinks only about himself?

It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you.

He needs to be understood in his own way.

You’ll find there’s a subtle thing you can say to him that will dramatically change how he shows his emotions towards you once you do that.

Learn how to become his top priority in this free video by Relationship Psychologist James Bauer.

You may also like:

7 Tips to Get Him to Commit Through Reverse Psychology (Step by Step guide)

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