The 17 Clear Signs He’s Cheating (Or You’re Being Paranoid)

I’m assuming that the reason you’re here is because you think he might be having an affair?

Are you alarmed by your boyfriend’s or husband’s shady behavior?

Are you suffering from insomnia for days on end as a result of your relationship’s misery and uncertainty?

If so, it’s crucial that you figure out what’s going on so that you can reclaim your life.

You should first rule out the possibility that he is cheating on you and now dating someone else.

It is crucial that you carry out some additional research to confirm that he isn’t hiding anything even if he claims not to.

Now that you’ve ruled it out, you should look a little farther.

Let’s go into some further possible indications that he is cheating on you.

The Best Way To Tell If Your Boyfriend or Husband Is Cheating? (17 Indicators That He’s Cheating)

1) He has removed you from his social media accounts or won’t add you.

I once had a significant relationship with a man who, despite my repeated attempts, would not add me to Facebook. He also never really provided me with a good excuse for not allowing me access to his Facebook account.

I gave him numerous requests to be added, but he never did, which irritated me beyond belief!

I ultimately let the relationship go because I was ignorantly content with it, but there was still a nagging thought in the back of my mind. What could I not see on his Facebook page that was so crucial? It made me conclude that our time together was just a side project for him, even if this was one of the stranger indicators he’s cheating. In fact, we were two hours apart.

I found out about the other woman after our breakup that he had been texting and seeing behind my back. Put your guard up if you’re dating someone like that because it’s really suspicious! Why wouldn’t he want to let everyone know that he’s been seeing you for a while?

You may like: Former cheater shares the 8 signs your husband is having an affair (a candid chat with a man who’s been there)

2) THEY accuses YOU of cheating.

If you discover that your partner is reversing the allegations, he very likely could be cheating on you. Is he frequently skeptical or uneasy about what you are doing, particularly if you haven’t altered your conduct or told him what to anticipate from you? Because he is projecting onto you, this can be a symptom of cheating.

3) He’s becoming incredibly moody.

It’s never fun to put up with sudden irritation, but it does happen; some people just go through tough moments in their lives and take it out on the wrong people all the time. He might have more stringent deadlines at work or a harsh employer; ideally, he’d want to discuss things with you, but he might just be happy to get home.

There are various ways that work stress might manifest, but what if there’s more to it? It could be an indication that he is cheating if he starts getting upset with you about trivial things like forgetting to change the toilet paper roll or use a coaster. The guilt of having an affair frequently makes a person irritated with the person they are with.

4) He gives his phone a passcode.

Your boyfriend may be cheating if he installs a password to his phone, especially if this is a new occurrence, similar to not adding you to his social media accounts. If he is possessive of his phone and won’t let you see what he’s doing, who he’s talking to, or where he’s gone, this is very suggestive of cheating behavior. He may be keeping something from you if he does this.

5) You simply have a gut instinct

You can simply have an odd hunch that the relationship is off. You don’t want to sit about, naively believing lies and trickery, so pay attention and follow your gut. Understand your man’s routines, attitudes, and behaviors so you can spot red flags.

You will then have the chance to be appropriately suspicious when something doesn’t seem right. Our intuition frequently directs us in the appropriate life direction. Recognize when anything feels odd and be extra cautious.

Is it a struggle to convince him to spend time with you?

Understanding males on a much deeper emotional level is the key to finding a solution. With a few subtle comments you might make to him, you can actually modify the main reason why men react in this way.

Learn how to become his top priority in this free video by Relationship Psychologist James Bauer.

6) He won’t introduce you to his pals

You have undoubtedly heard this guy talk about his best pals if you have been dating him for a while, perhaps months. It’s understandable that you could be questioning why you haven’t met them yet. He would most likely introduce you to the individuals he values most if he is serious about you and the connection you have begun.

Why is he avoiding me, you might ask. Unfortunately, it’s not always a good indicator when someone keeps you a secret. He might be dating other people, or you might just be his sidekick; he might not want to explain to others who you are and why he likes you. He might find this to be confusing.

7) He deactivates his phone’s location services.

If your partner suddenly shuts off the feature that allows you and him or her to share the location of your phone, such as with the “Find My Friends” app, it may be a sign that something is wrong. This is particularly true if they used to be quite open about revealing their whereabouts with you, but they now switch it off occasionally or permanently.

Why would he need to deactivate the phone’s location, you might wonder. Is he only making a covert trip to a place like a flower shop that he doesn’t want you to know about? That’s a good justification, but if he keeps doing it without a good rationale for where he’s been, that raises questions. Why would he not want you to be aware of his whereabouts?

8) He hangs out with his pals more.

Of course, “guys’ night out” is necessary for all males. But if they’ve started happening more frequently lately, it can be a sign that he’s been cheating to you. He can be seeing another woman and not actually be out with his friends.

That’s not acceptable, but look for the telltale signals first. He might simply be out with friends rather than cheating, so wait before condemning him.

9) He is preoccupied with something besides you.

If he can’t even carry on a conversation with you any longer, there might be someone else who has caught his attention in addition to you, even though you may have become accustomed to the relationship and just don’t feel the need to talk to each other as often. Does he appear more preoccupied with his phone or the TV than with you?

Has the flame vanished? Do you worry that there is no longer an emotional connection between you two? These are legitimate worries and indications that he is cheating, but bear in mind that he could simply be at ease with you. He could no longer feel the need to focus so intently on you.

This is not a good indicator, though, as he might no longer be interested in you or your relationship. He might have decided to let the flame burn out gradually with this one, so be on the lookout. You don’t want a man who doesn’t value you anymore; nonetheless, some men get lazy when it comes to doing the work in a relationship. You are entitled to better.

10) Conversations in private are frequent for him

Does he leave the house to talk on his phone? Does he spend a lot of time on his phone in the restroom? Do you notice that he plays on his phone and laughs while you watch television or engage in other activities but doesn’t share what he finds so fascinating with you? Do you feel that his phone activity has replaced or neglected you?

None of these are encouraging indications! They do, in fact, suggest a problem. Perhaps he has decided that someone else deserves his attention instead of you, or perhaps he is cheating on you with them. You might want to put this one back in the ocean and look for someone who values you if he’s obviously less interested in making it work with you.

11) He appears emotionally detached.

He seems to be being emotionally cold. Is he choosing to simply chat about unimportant topics like what’s for dinner because he is withholding himself from you on a deeper level? Do you find him recoiling and becoming extremely protective of his private life when you try to ask him about your mood swings, something he should be eager to share with you? This can indicate that he’s wandering.

12) He doesn’t care about having sex.

According to Psychology Today, it may be a clue that he is finding his sexual fulfillment elsewhere if you notice a change in the romantic energy you share with your spouse or if they have entirely shut off the faucet. After all, it’s a very well-known fact that both men and women want a certain quantity of sex to be fulfilled in their lives.

Why would his sex desire shift so drastically, you might wonder.

13) He has another phone.

Like a burner, the unexpected emergence of a new phone is an odd sign that something is wrong. What would make him require a second cellphone? Did his employer provide him with a second phone, or did he buy it so he could send you unseen texts and make private calls? It is important to address this issue.

14) Your friends or family inquire as to your whereabouts.

Despite the fact that you may be perfectly content and oblivious to all the indications that he is cheating on you, other people may notice things that you are unable to. Do they frequently inquire as to your well-being? If they say they spotted him with someone else in a public place, you might want to find out why they are asking.

Your lover may be cheating on you if your friends and family suspect something is off. Other than that, why would they ask? Who or what is driving that question? Of course, it could be a harmless inquiry; someone might merely want to see how things are doing with your marriage or other circumstance. Asking them why they are worried is still a smart idea.

Even though she has no need to be concerned, my grandma constantly wonders if my partner and I are getting along. But I understand why she does it. She just wants to be sure that she is emotionally ready in case she needs to have her heart crushed again because she has witnessed a lot of heartache in the relationships with family members.

15) The facts don’t seem to add up

One of the worst indicators that he is cheating on you is this. His narratives aren’t really coherent. If he claims to have not seen a certain acquaintance in weeks yet was with them on a specific night, something is clearly up. When you question a guy about something like this, they typically just bury themselves further and further in illogical lies.

The truth will usually come out in due course, but in the meanwhile, it stinks; I should know; I’ve been there. Additionally, it’s sad that as you try to make sense of the problem, they merely become defensive because they claim to be “weary of talking about it,” but what they really mean is that they are tired of covering their butts! Hire a private investigator if you have good reason to be worried!

16) No longer are you invited to events

You used to get invited to all of his professional gatherings, but it seems like there are none today. This is one of those rather obvious indications of a cheater. He might still be attending these events, but he’s cheating by bringing a substitute. Nobody desires to be treated in this manner. You might wish to attend a work event if you know about it!

In this manner, you can discover the true cause of the issue and learn why you are no longer a part of activities that you formerly enjoyed. Additionally, you will know for sure if your partner is cheating. Don’t you prefer to know if he is cheating?

17) You discovered that funds from your joint accounts are missing.

You should be concerned if you notice several ATM withdrawals from your joint accounts that he can’t or won’t explain. However, you may quickly determine whether cheating is to blame for the disappearance of funds by simply informing him that you are making a budget and need guidance on which category to assign those ATM transactions.

Although he might lie, at least you’ll be able to watch how he responds to what you’ve seen. His incapacity to provide truthful responses may be a sign that he has been cheating to you or deceiving you.

Additional warning indications he might be cheating on you (Do not ignore them)

1) He alters his opinion on your prospective union.

If your man criticizes your relationship, take caution. He might make hypothetical, unfavorable statements like, “What would you do if we broke up?” He may be doing this to see how you would react if your relationship altered and to make sure you wouldn’t mind if he wanted to break things off.

If he decides to end his relationship with you and move in permanently with his side girlfriend, he might say things to see how you’d react. If not, why did he say that? You might be dealing with a cheater if you catch him uttering strange things like this. Because he might hurt you, keep a close watch on your heart and emotions.

2) He starts avoiding family and social events.

If your partner is cheating, there’s a strong chance he won’t want to be with his typical group of friends, especially if they include people he’s known longer than you. They might be able to determine that he is truly doing anything sneaky, like cheating, more easily than you can.

3) He claims you are no longer entertaining.

I know it’s lame, but I watch a lot of corny romantic comedies. However, I have noticed a pattern when guys cheat. They frequently inform their wives that they are simply no longer enjoyable or content. What sort of a query or remark is that? How else could you possibly correct that besides attempting to alter your very identity?

4) He begins to isolate his finances from yours.

Is he keeping his purchases a secret? Has he altered how he handles his money so that you are unaware of when and how much he spends? He might not want you to be aware of his whereabouts, his companions, or his activities. You probably don’t know what he’s doing if he keeps his finances secret!

He is able to act without your knowledge by doing this. In addition, he is not held responsible for his financial decisions; he is not required to explain anything to you because you are unaware of the who, what, where, and why of all that is happening. He can be giving his money to someone else. That may happen.

It’s possible that all he wants to do is blindside you with a gift—say, a bouquet of roses—but that shouldn’t be a regular secret. Lying and keeping secrets are never healthy behaviors in a relationship. It breeds distrust and perplexity because it is impossible to have faith in someone who routinely misleads you about where the money is going.

5) You discover indications that he has been seeing someone else.

Never look for lipstick on the collar, glitter on his pants, or perfume on his shirt. They typically indicate that a man is up to something wrong given that he is actually with you. Of course, if you think your man is cheating, keep an eye out for these indicators and probe further. Watch out for this kind of defensiveness since he can be lying.

6) He never comes home and works late

Unfortunately, one of the classic indicators of cheating is still using the justification “I have to work late.” While it’s true that men have become more cunning and have discovered ways to “prove” they were actually at the office even when they weren’t, these popular justifications for men seeing someone new instead of their wives continue to be used by males.

7) He begins donning fresh perfume.

When you are right here, content with his current aroma, why would your boyfriend need to wear a new cologne? He might just want to try something new, it’s true, but why cologne? What else is he “trying” differently, and why? Is he maybe also trying on a new person? These are legitimate worries that you need to be aware of.

8) He pays excessive attention to your requirement

Sometimes, gentlemen may pay their girlfriends far more attention than they usually would to make up for their cheating conduct. This is obviously cause for concern, so you would want to check to see if anything else in his behavior has altered to see if a pattern has developed.

9) He begins criticizing you more often than normal.

Nobody likes to quarrel, and if he’s started picking on you and making fun of you, he might just be searching for a reason to break things off with you. Do you really want to be with someone who treats you in this manner?

10) His appearance is more important to him.

While many men (and women) change how they look as they get older and mature as people, a sudden change in clothing is odd and can indicate that you are being cheated on. Who is he attempting to impress, you could wonder? If you are pleased with his current appearance, why would he feel the need to have a “new look”?

Brad Kerall, a dating expert for Kasamba, notes that when a couple feels safe in their existing relationship, they frequently worry less about their appearance. This means that if your husband, boyfriend, or other significant other starts buying new clothes or accessories or spending more time looking in the mirror to assess his appearance, he might be up to no good.

11) His tastes have suddenly changed.

Does he enjoy new bands, types of movies, or sports teams? What piques his curiosity about anything novel? You might want to look into why he’s acting differently if you haven’t changed your taste but he has, especially if it happened suddenly.

12) He doesn’t appear to enjoy certain aspects of you that he once adored.

He used to adore your crazy looks, the way you chewed your cereal, and your attire. He used to adore even the little things, but now he is extremely critical and doesn’t like them. This is occasionally a hint that someone is looking for a way out.

Although he may have recently changed his mind about you, do you really want to stay with someone who doesn’t respect you?

13) He no longer shares the same bed with you

I firmly believe that if one partner snores, the other sleeps lightly, or there are other sleep problems in the relationship, it is acceptable for couples to sleep in separate beds. I agree with this because getting enough sleep is essential for everyone’s health and without it, we become clumsy, irritated, and confused.

However, if he suddenly prefers sleeping on the sofa over the bed with you after you two were able to sleep soundly together for a while, it could be a warning sign. He might take solace in the change of scenery since he finds it difficult to fall asleep among you because of the guilt he feels for being unfaithful.

14) He makes excuses when you show him kindness.

The character Taub from House, my favorite medical show, cheated on his wife, who then decided to purchase him his dream car. Because of this, his remorse became so overpowering that he told her the truth about his long history of cheating. It didn’t work out in the end (spoiler alert), but at least she knew the truth about her spouse.

15) He begins to buy you several gifts.

This is one of those blatant red flags that a guy is seeking fulfillment elsewhere. He regrets that and is making amends by buying things for you, like flowers, to show his appreciation.

16) He is easily upset or touchy.

When asked a straightforward question, someone who becomes extremely defensive usually has something to hide. If he gets upset over trivial things, he might be cheating. Remember that he might simply be anxious about another aspect of his life, such as job, but it’s a good idea to find out why.

17) He speaks excessively of someone

Psychology Today says that if your partner frequently talks about someone, brings them up in almost every conversation, or finds ways to complain about them constantly, it could be a sign of cheating.

18) He bathes more frequently than normal

Dane Cook, one of my favorite comedians, revealed in a stand-up routine that he had to sneak into the shower after cheating to wash the glitter and odor off of himself. He recounted how he was trying to silently put his keys away and asked, “Did I rob a janitor?”

FAQs

Do I have a cheating boyfriend (or husband)?

Keep an eye out for some of the warning signals outlined in this article, such as odd conduct. You don’t want that in your life if your lover is acting strangely since he can be doing anything behind your back. Before opening your heart to him, find out if he is cheating.

How can you tell when your boyfriend is cheating to you?

Although I don’t have a lot of faith in this, you can try doing some detective work if you truly want to learn the truth. When you suspect he is cheating, follow him or think about hiring a real private investigator to find out the truth.

How likely is it that your boyfriend will cheat?

Infidelity is one of the primary causes of divorce, thus it’s likely that at least half of all partnerships involve some level of cheating. So that you won’t have to worry about this, work to establish trust with your partner.

How can you determine whether your spouse is lying about having an affair?

Because they are trying to use their creative side of the brain to come up with the lie they are telling you, people who are lying look up while they do so. As they try to think of an explanation, they could also alter their body language or halt.

How can you tell whether a guy really loves you?

You can explain to him why you two shouldn’t be together in your opinion. He is not really invested in you if he joins the conversation right away. He may love you if he holds his ground and wants to be with you.

In conclusion…

Let’s be clear about one thing up front though: just because your partner is displaying a few of the characteristics I just mentioned doesn’t necessarily suggest that he is intentionally cheating. These could merely be warning signs of future relationship problems.

However, if you’ve noticed several of these warning signs in your partner recently and you sense that things in your relationship need to change before they worsen, I strongly advise you to take action right away.

Watching this free video by relationship expert James Bauer is the ideal spot to get started. He introduces the hero impulse, a brand-new idea in relationship psychology that I just highlighted.

Relationships can deteriorate over time due to a variety of factors, such as distance, poor communication, and sexual problems. These issues might develop into infidelity and disconnection if not handled properly.

I usually suggest James Bauer to anybody who ask me for a relationship expert to help them.

When it comes to relationship counsel, James is the real deal. He writes books that are best sellers and shares helpful tips on his hugely successful YouTube channel.

The techniques James Bauer outlines in this video are very effective and could be the difference between a “happy partnership” and a “unhappy breakup.”

Here is another link to his video.

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